The Happening

Rating: R

Movie Release Date: June 13, 2008

DVD Release Date: October 7, 2008

Plot 411: Something deadly is sweeping the Northeast and turning cities into ghost towns.

Review: I had been warned not to watch this movie, but did I listen? Of course not. So now it is my turn to warn you, my dear readers, not to rent this flick. Yes, I realize that there's a hunk of man candy by way of Mark Wahlberg, however, even his looks cannot save this one. The plot is this - something mysterious is wiping out thousands of people across the northeast U.S. Is it terrorists? Is it an airborne disease? Is it government testing? No, it is Mother Nature herself. Yes, this is not a movie on terrorism or nuclear attack or government cover-ups. This is a movie about the Earth rebelling against humans because we're a deadly threat to it. It's like watching a movie sponsored by Greenpeace. But, had this been marketed as such no one would've come to the theaters. Instead, it was billed as a horror, suspense drama and headlined by Wahlberg. I feel completely duped. I feel gipped out of a good horror, suspense drama flick. Damn you Mark Wahlberg. Not only did you gip me into believing you were a rapper in my tween years, you've tricked me into watching this faux horror flick.

Watch It: If you've got a "Save the Earth" bumper sticker and want some interesting facts about a plant's ability to rapidly adapt to circumstances.

Skip It: If you're only in it for a shot of Wahlberg's body. You don't even get that in this one.

Trailer: