Blood: The Last Vampire

Rating: R

Movie Release Date: April 2, 2009 (Japan) / July 10, 2009 (USA)

DVD Release Date: October 20, 2009

Plot 411: A secret government group pairs up with a vampire to find and destroy demons.

Review: Saya (Gianna Jun) infiltrates a U.S. military base on the pretense that she is a typical high school student. But she is far from ordinary. She is the last vampire in the world and has teamed up with a secret agency whose mission is to kill demons. Through her work, she hopes to confront and destroy the demon who killed her father. I didn't realize that this was based on anime, but the cinematography made it clear from the start. The special effects were extremely exaggerated, which I found a little off putting. I'd prefer blood to look like real blood. But because Saya was killing demons, I chucked the notion of "real" blood and figured the chunky blood was purely a demonic phenomenon. If you're into a lot of samurai-sword wielding, this movie is great. Jun does a good job at using the sword to dismember and kill literally dozens of demons. It's a sight to see. She does it with flair and skill. Most of the other characters are inconsequential, even the main human character Alice (Allison Miller). It's like they're just set decoration. Even when their actions have a major effect on Saya, it doesn't really seem like a big deal. Somehow I couldn't get emotionally invested in this film and didn't find myself rooting for Saya. In my opinion, everything just unfolded disjointedly. I was also confused about the title of the movie. For the entire film, I thought that Saya was a demon too (even though she drank blood from a bottle several times). Somehow I just didn't connect it because she never actually bites anyone or shows off her fangs. That's slightly weird for a vampire flick in my book.

Watch It: If you're knowledgeable about the anime and TV series. This may squish the apathy I felt while viewing it.

Skip It: If you're looking for a really good plot about demons and vampires. This is more action oriented.

Finishing The Game: The Search For A New Bruce Lee

Rating: Not Rated

Movie Release Date: October 5, 2007

DVD Release Date: May 20, 2008

Plot 411: After the death of Bruce Lee, a production company tries to find an actor to finish the film.

Review: This movie will be freakin' hilarious if you grew up during the hype of kung fu mania in the U.S. (aka the 1970s). It shoots like a documentary following the casting process of a company trying to find a body double for the late Bruce Lee. The mission is to find an actor to replace him and finish his movie Game Of Death. From the clothes and hair to the messed up sync between audio and visual when actors are talking, this movie spoofs the best of the worst about those '70s kung fu flicks. There's even a dude with a fu man chu. I mean, how could they not include that? The best part of the movie is all the Asian actors - Dustin Nguyen, James Franco, Leonardo Nam, Sung Kang and Roger Fan. Even MC Hammer and Ron Jeremy make a cameo!

Watch It: For a nod nod, wink wink at everything that was awesomely bad about the '70s.

Skip It: If one time through was enough for you.

District 13: Ultimatum / Banlieue 13: Ultimatum

Rating: R

Movie Release Date: February 18, 2009 (France) / February 5, 2010

DVD Release Date: April 27, 2010

Plot 411: Two unlikely friends reunite to save District 13 . . . again.

Review: This sequel was somewhat disappointing, especially since I thoroughly enjoyed the District B13. It seemed like they were desperately tyring to infuse the movie with a plot. Rather than just an all-out brawl with shocking stunts, they tried to develop a storyline. However, the execution wasn’t handled effectively. The story dragged on and stretched out the time between set pieces. I mean, this isn’t the kind of movie that audiences go to for mental stimulation and thought-provoking themes. We’re here for the action, and I feel they should’ve just stuck to that. This movie brought back the butt-kicking duo of Damien (Cyril Raffaelli) and Leito (David Belle), and once again they are tasked with saving District 13 from the corrupt government. This time around we get a better picture of the district, which is segregated into different ethnic groups all running illegal operations. These rival gangs must unite to fight the government and save their home.

Watch It: If you enjoyed the first one and want to see something similar.

Skip It: If you saw the first one and want to see something better.

Crank 2: High Voltage

Rating: R

Movie Release Date: April 16, 2009 (Germany) / April 17, 2009 (USA)

DVD Release Date: September 8, 2009

Plot 411: A guy with an artificial heart runs around the city trying to get his real one back and kicks some major ass along the way.

Review: This movie is a Jason Statham ass-kicking fest. Statham reprises his role as Chev Chelios, the man who just doesn't die. The Chinese Triads have sedated him, removed his heart and replaced it with a fake one just to keep him alive long enough to harvest his other organs. While this is happening, Chelios is quite vaguely aware of what's happening. When the Chinese docs go for his hoo-ha, he finally gets with the program because no means no. The rest of the movie follows Chelios across L.A. as he tries to get his heart back from one person or other. He leaves a trail of broken and dead bodies along the way. Making this even more difficult is that his fake heart is battery operated and needs to be charged frequently. But don't worry. Chelios finds unique ways to keep his old ticker ticking. Other notable peeps in this movie are Amy Smart, Dwight Yoakam, Bai Ling, Keone Young (Yay, a local boy), Clifton Collins Jr., David Carradine, Corey Haim (RIP) and Geri Halliwell (Girl Power?).

Watch It: For over-the-topness that is exploding silicone and sex at a racetrack.

Skip It: Because this movie is made by guys for guys. Everything you can think of that is demeaning to women is right here, yet somehow I still found this movie awesome.

Ong Bak 2

Rating:R

Movie Release Date: December 4, 2008 (Thailand) / October 23, 2009 (USA)

DVD Release Date: February 2, 2010

Plot 411: An orphan learns the art of thieves and ventures on a journey of revenge.

Review: Tony Jaa stars as Tien, an orphan who is taken in by a gang of thieves when his parents are killed. He learns different styles of martial arts and after passing several tests is announced as the clan's successor. However, he is ill at ease knowing his parents' murderers are still out there and goes to seek his revenge. Like the first Ong Bak film, this one is action packed with tons of awesome martial arts sequences. There are great exhibitions of skill by Jaa and the other actors. If you like fight scenes, there are definitely some memorable action sequences and kill scenes. I mean, the film kicks off with a croc vs. human fight. What can get any better than that? Unlike the last film though, this one seems to have a better plot. It seemed more compelling, even though we all know the action is the focus of these types of movies. One thing to remember before going into this one is that it has nothing to do with the original film as far as plot is concerned. It's a completely different story with new characters.

Watch It: If you're a fan of kick-butt action movies.

Skip It: You like the more traditional Chinese kung fu movies. This one doesn't have the same fantasy elements (like the flying through the air or fighting across the bamboo forests).

District B13 / Banlieue 13

Rating: R

Movie Release Date: November 10, 2004 (France) / June 10, 2005 (USA)

DVD Release Date: September 5, 2006

Plot 411: A cop goes undercover to disarm a bomb with the help of a guy who grew up in the worst part of town.

Review: OMG, this was the best effin action flick I've seen in YEARS!!! This is not an exaggeration (okay, maybe it is but this movie was still hella dope). I'm so amped up just from watching it (if you can't already tell). This movie stars David Belle as Leito, an honorable guy despite a less-than-ideal upbringing in the ghetto of District 13 in France. He and his sister Lola (Dany Verissimo) have grown up in an area without schools and law enforcement. Criminals rule the world and chaos abounds. When a bomb gets stolen by a local drug thug Taha (Bibi Narceri), a captain in the French police force (Cyril Raffaelli) is ordered to go into District 13 and get it back. He must team up with Leito to get in and complete his mission before it is too late. For once, I seriously couldn't give a rip about the plot. It was pretty thin all the way through, but at least the movie did attempt to develop it. At the core of this film are the action sequences that use parkour, "the physical discipline of training to overcome any obstacle within one's path by adapting one's movements to the environment," according to Wikipedia. Belle is one of the founders of this discipline. As it is used in this film, it is the most exciting, dynamic physical display I've ever seen. It rivals the artistry in films like Ong-bak. To me, it is completely amazing to see Belle and Raffaelli scale walls, jump through windows, jump from building to building and all these other feats without the use of CGI or wires. It's almost like a martial art in its fluidity of movement. If I had it my way, they'd incorporate more of this into films as it's unconventional (at this point) and really explodes visually on the screen. Besides all the action sequences, I should also note that there are some cool camera effects (done with CGI) and the overall look of this film is sleek despite the gritty nature of the setting.

Watch It: For jaw-dropping leaps and bounds that you swear must be faked but is all real.

Skip It: Because the plot is pretty thin.

Ninja Assassin

Rating: R

Movie Release Date: November 28, 2009

DVD Release Date: TBD

Plot 411: A secret ninja clan has worked for hundreds of years as assassins but their identity is compromised when a student rebels and leaves the family.

Review: I don't know whether I should be ashamed that studios are making this kind of crap or appalled at how much I enjoyed it. The film was utter nonsense in every aspect. The plot was hanging on by a thread. The acting was atrocious. Rain will not be the next huge Asian crossover, unless you're strictly talking about being a body double. He does have a fine body. The Mr. Miyagi-like stereotype of the ninja sensei was out in full force (his accent was really horrible). They even had the ninja running in the stereotypical way - one arm sort of bent in front of them and the other arm outstretched to the side or behind and gripping a sword. Oh puhlease! The CGI was laughable, especially all the blood splatter. The scene transitions and dialogue were cheesy and some of the camera angles were obviously trying to heighten the action. Just about everything in this movie was simply bad. Yet somehow, despite all of this, I found myself totally into it. It's like when you're passing a car accident and can't turn away. That's what it felt like. There were some rather badass kill scenes with a lot of blood and guts littering the set. However, it had a video game feel to it and didn't really look or feel real. I laughed at "serious" plot developments and was not surprised by the plot twists. Nothing about this movie is subtle. I'm pretty sure this movie didn't take itself too seriously so the audience shouldn't either. It's like a remake of those horrible '70s or '80s ninja/kung fu movies that has been updated with today's technology in a bad way. As a side note, I cannot believe Naomie Harris, the actress who plays Tia Dalma in the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, is the main female character in this one. Amazing what hair, makeup and costumes can do!

Watch It: On a Friday night with a bunch of friends in a packed (if that's even possible) theater. Sit back and eat your popcorn.

Skip It: If you're looking for an authentic ninja experience. This is a B-movie wannabe that only achieves a D-movie rating.

Robin-B-Hood / Bo bui gai wak

Rating: Not Rated

Movie Release Date: September 28, 2006 (South Korea)

DVD Release Date: December 26, 2007 (USA)

Plot 411: Burglars fall upon hard times and resort to kidnapping a child only to fall in love with the baby and become better men.

Review: In this hilarious comedy, Jackie Chan plays Thongs, a gambling addict and part of a trio of burglars. His cohorts include Octopus (Louis Koo), a lady's man despite being married and expecting a child, and the Landlord (Michael Hui), the brains behind the operations. Thongs and Octopus are really good at what they do, but they have reservations when their recent job involves kidnapping the infant son of wealthy parents. When the Landlord is arrested, Thongs and Octopus must babysit the kid until they can hand him over to their contact. During this time, the two burglars grow attached to the baby. Their time spent with him changes them for life. It makes them reevaluate their motivations and aspirations. This is a typical Jackie Chan flick so expect good laughs and tight martial arts sequences. There were so many instances that made me wonder just how amazing the choreography and martial arts talent was. The situations that Thongs and Octopus found themselves in had me crying because I was laughing so hard.

Watch It: For a memorable nipple shot.

Skip It: Because said nipple shot could be damaging for life.

The City Of Violence / Jjakpae

Rating: Not Rated

Movie Release Date: May 25, 2006 (South Korea)

DVD Release Date: September 4, 2007

Plot 411: When a friend's death brings a cop back to his hometown, he discovers that the old gang isn't what it used to be.

Review: I've got mixed feelings about this film. Some parts were good (the action sequences), but other parts were not (everything else). It reminded me a bit of The Warriors (1979) and The Outsiders (1983) because there were a couple of large mob/gang fights. Parts of it also reminded me of the Kill Bill movies. Tae-su (Doo-hong Jung) returns to his hometown because one of his best friends Wang-jae (Seok-yong Jeong) was killed. He meets up with his old friends and learns that things have changed a lot since he left for Seoul. The city has turned corrupt and some of his friends are behind it all. A struggle for power and money has caused his friends to split apart. The boys they once were no longer exist and the men they have become no longer see eye to eye. Innocence is lost.

Watch It: For some crazy martial arts sequences and a look at a different martial arts technique. I'm not used to watching Korean-style fighting so this was pretty interesting.

Skip It: If you're expecting non-stop action. I almost wish it was all non-stop action.

Shaolin Soccer / Siu lam juk kau

Rating: PG13

Movie Release Date: July 12, 2001 (Hong Kong) / April 2, 2004 (USA)

DVD Release Date: January 18, 2005

Plot 411: Sing, a Shaolin monk, tries various methods to instill the virtues of Shaolin kung fu into people's lives and is only successful when he combines it with soccer.

Review: Sing (Stephen Chow) wants to promote Shaolin kung fu in this modern age for its spiritual and physical benefits. However, it doesn't take no matter what method he tries. When he meets a former soccer star Fung (Ng Man Tai), they decide to reunite Sing's brothers to form a team and win the China Super Cup. Because of the Cup's popularity, people will be exposed to the kung fu and will more likely enbrace it. Sing's brothers are reluctant to play soccer but after much needling, they agree. This was a fun, kung fu movie set in modern times. The kung fu skills that were used looked very traditional, but they were applied in contemporary ways. It's a unique twist on martial arts. Chow is great in these comedic roles and is able to bring in a new audience. Some of the action is unbelievable (literally), but like most kung fu films you must suspend your belief to fully enjoy them. I liked how each of the brothers mastered a skill individually and used them as a team to win. It reflects the different schools of martial arts and how each form complements the others.

Watch It: If you enjoyed Chow in Kung Fu Hustle.

Skip It: If you prefer more traditional wushu action.

Seven Swords (Chat Gim)

Rating: Not Rated

Movie Release Date: July 29, 2005 (China)

DVD Release Date: January 16, 2007

Plot 411: Seven master swordsmen join forces to protect a village from a merciless general.

Review: With a recent ban on the practice of martial arts offering ample bounty, Fire-Wind (Sun Honglei) and his men ravage villages in the name of the new ruling. He kills men, women and children even if they aren't trained to fight. Opposing him is Fu Qingzhu (Liu Jialiang), a former executioner who is trying to make up for his sins. He gathers several other great fighters and together they attempt to protect a village of innocents. This movie echoed Seven Samurai and The Magnificent Seven. It combined the creativity of Chinese martial arts with the mastery of swordplay. As with most period Chinese action films, this one contained a lot of great stunts, acrobatics and wire work. There were also a decent amount of CGI - some looked more realistic than others. The English subtitles were done with a British accent, so I assume they might've been done in Hong Kong. The dub didn't match the subtitles so that was a little distracting. Other than that, this was an enjoyable action-filled movie.

Watch It: For high-flying action and sword fights.

Skip It: If you usually enjoy a good love story thrown into the mix. This one was pretty weak.

Legend Of The Black Scorpion / Ye Yan

Rating: Not Rated

Movie Release Date: September 14, 2006 (Hong Kong)

DVD Release Date: February 26, 2008

Plot 411: The emperor's death leads to a battle for the throne between his brother, his widow and his son.

Review: Like many Chinese films, this one was exceptionally beautiful to watch. Everything unfolded before the audience - from the lush wardrobe worn by the court to the dance-like choreography of fight scenes. Slow motion cinematography and crane-mounted camera shots crafted wonderful vantage points to look upon the action. The emperor's death causes a stir because there is a struggle for power between the crown prince, the emperess (Zhang Ziyi) and the emperor's brother. In addition to corruption within the court and betrayal by those thought to be loyal, a tangled love triangle is revealed. This is the twisted story of how power corrupts and can kill despite the strong ties of love.

Watch It: For a good Chinese period piece with flourishes of drama, romance and martial arts.

Skip It: If Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and other films aren't your style.

The Warrior / Musa

Rating: R

Movie Release Date: September 7, 2001 (South Korea) /

DVD Release Date: September 2, 2003

Plot 411: A group of Korean envoys protect a Chinese princess from Mongolians.

Review: This was an awesome Korean/Chinese film full of action, character, plot and cinematography and that makes this movie work. It has something for everyone to grasp on to. Envoys from Korea are exiled from China when they come across a Chinese princess who is captured by Mogols. They decide to redeem themselves in the eyes of the Chinese by saving her. But, by stepping into a battle that is not theirs, they commit themselves to fighting to the death. In addition to some great hand-to-hand combat and battle scenes, there are some scenes that are so picturesque and stunning they could be from another movie altogether. Even the violence is beautiful in a poetic way. Did you see the trailer? Best of all, you connect with the characters. To me, that's the sign of a good movie - when you get emotionally attached to the characters. Why is it that a lot of Asian cinema has makings of an epic? This movie stars Woo-sung Jung, Sung-kee Ahn and Zhang Ziyi.

Watch It: For a good foreign period piece with lots of action that boil down to fighting for honor.

Skip It: Because blood splatter and kill sequences are pretty dope and if you're not into it, it might upset you.

The Protector / Tom yum goong

Rating: R

Movie Release Date: August 11, 2005 (Hong Kong & Thailand) / September 8, 2006 (USA)

DVD Release Date: January 16, 2007

Plot 411: When his way of life is threatened, Kham must go to Australia a get back his stolen elepahnt.

Review: All action, all the time. This was one butt kicking after another, and you'll especially love the movie if you're into martial arts. Americans, and the western world in general, don't often get to see this type of martial arts - Thai martial arts. It just looks so different from the kung fu, karate and judo we've grown up with. This stuff is faster and uses unusual parts of the body as weapons. What was inovated about this movie is that they used every possible weapon against Tony Jaa (Kahm) and he still managed to whoop ass. My favorite enemy was the gang of X Games wanna-bes. Yes, you got that right! They used motorcross bikes against the guy. The plot was ok but really, who needs a plot if you've got Jaa constantly flying across the screen?

Watch It: For a dive into the deep end of muay thai. Your heart will be racing with excitement.

Skip It: If you're a stickler for the classic kung fu flicks. The action in this film is all about innovation and the modern world, despite the fact that the main character is actually fighting to save his culture and history.

Trailer:

Dragon Tiger Gate

Rating: Not Rated

Movie Release Date: July 27, 2006 (Singapore)

DVD Release Date: November 27, 2007

Plot 411: Two estranged martial arts brothers join forces to fight an evil force.

Review: This wasn't the best martial arts film I've seen but it definitely used a bunch of CGI to make it look oh so cool. I think the movie is based on a comic so the CGI gave the film some comic book authenticity. Some of the moves were pretty amazing and there was never a dull moment. I enjoyed the dichotomy of old vs. new and tradition vs. inovation that this film brought to the screen.

Watch It: For cool martial arts moves in graphic novel-type action.

Skip It: If you prefer the more traditional (and realistic) Bruce Lee-like martial arts.

Trailer: