Rating: R
Movie Release Date: October 20, 2005 (Thailand) / April 3, 2007 (USA)
DVD Release Date: July 22, 2008
Plot 411: After surviving a shipwreck, Fernando de Gama finds himself in Siam. Enlisted in the ranks of Portuguese military to assist the Siamese king in battle, he soon becomes the king's bodyguard and must stop any assassination attempts on the king's life.
Review: After five minutes, I wanted to slit my wrists. What had I gotten myself into? Here's why this movie sucked - acting was horrible, CGI was laughable and accents were terrible. I realize that a lot of the cast was Thai but even their accents seemed ridiculous. The fluctuation between English and accented English was just too much for me. Add that to a dire need to be taken seriously and I really just felt sorry for the actors. Even the so-called English-speaking actors were horrible. The CGI was about as good as a third grader's coloring book. Really, it was that bad. Why would John Rhys-Davies attach himself to this film? Ok, I agree that he hasn't done a ton of good stuff but seriously, they're all better than this one. The lead actor, Gary Stretch, is particularly horrific. What is up with his face? Is it bad plastic surgery? I won't even get into the plot as I would hope after this you just wouldn't care anymore.
Movie Release Date: October 20, 2005 (Thailand) / April 3, 2007 (USA)
DVD Release Date: July 22, 2008
Plot 411: After surviving a shipwreck, Fernando de Gama finds himself in Siam. Enlisted in the ranks of Portuguese military to assist the Siamese king in battle, he soon becomes the king's bodyguard and must stop any assassination attempts on the king's life.
Review: After five minutes, I wanted to slit my wrists. What had I gotten myself into? Here's why this movie sucked - acting was horrible, CGI was laughable and accents were terrible. I realize that a lot of the cast was Thai but even their accents seemed ridiculous. The fluctuation between English and accented English was just too much for me. Add that to a dire need to be taken seriously and I really just felt sorry for the actors. Even the so-called English-speaking actors were horrible. The CGI was about as good as a third grader's coloring book. Really, it was that bad. Why would John Rhys-Davies attach himself to this film? Ok, I agree that he hasn't done a ton of good stuff but seriously, they're all better than this one. The lead actor, Gary Stretch, is particularly horrific. What is up with his face? Is it bad plastic surgery? I won't even get into the plot as I would hope after this you just wouldn't care anymore.
Watch It: If your favorite channel on TV is Sci-Fi. This one would still make those movies watchable.
Skip It: If you value your life.
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